We're History!
by Allan Squidman
Summary: For my buddy Berry The Squid Sisters meet their octoling friend's dad, and are met with a rather strange request
1. Chapter 1

**A Preposterous Proposition**

Four friends were taking a stroll through the streets

These were the humanoid cephalopod inhabitants of Inkopolis that lived during what was known as the mollusc era.

The first two were well known by anyone who ever gets out of bed or turns on a television. They were the inkling sisters-who-are-actually-cousins Callie and Marie. Inkopolis' most famous pop idols, news anchors and festival hosts, and granddaughters of the historically revered but little known to the modern public Great Turf War veteran Cap'n Cuttlefish. The two of them were collectively known as the Squid Sisters.

The remaining girl among them was named Elizabeth. Her closest friends knew her as Agent Three, but everyone who knew her simply called her Bessie. She was close friends with the Squid Sisters and the three of them spent so much time together that she was practically considered family.

Lastly there was the octoling boy named Callum. He was Bessie's boyfriend and renegade of the Octarian forces, who was adjusting to a life of freedom and generally spent his free time on Turf Wars disguised as an inkling.

As the four friends walked among the buildings, dusk was falling and the street lights were coming on, but it was still too bright for them to have a noticeable effect. It had been a blistering hot day, and the dropping temperature was a welcome relief. The general air of tension unwinding was equally welcome in that the final Splatfest, Callie VS Marie, had recently been announced, and just a few days earlier there were some rather baffling news reports about newly discovered sunken scrolls that had turned out to be fakes.

They passed by Judd the cat, who was perched on a fire hydrant with his tail gently undulating. His chubby cheeks bounced as he spoke when he saw the four of them: "Well, if it isn't Agent Five."

"It's Agent Three," Bessie shrugged off the silly feline.

As the quartet were sliding down on the spectrum that stretches from excitement to relaxation, they eagerly discussed their expectations for the final showdown, with rowdy giggles occasionally bursting from Callie and Marie periodically sighing with amusement.

"Hello, Callum." A man's voice was softly but clearly heard from an alley as they were passing it, and Callum froze in place, his face expressionless. After one or two seconds he looked around, ensuring nobody was watching, and then he spoke: "This way. Quickly." And he ducked into the dark alley. His puzzled friends followed.

Callum crawled through underneath the raised section of a garbage skip with his cohorts on his heels and the four came upon a garbage can right behind it. Nobody really questioned why a rubbish bin would be in such an impractical and unnecessary place, but in fact this was exactly the point. Callum lifted the lid and turned to Marie, gesturing toward the bin. "After you."

Marie frowned the frown of one who wondered if someone was serious, and leaned over to peer into the bin. "In we go!" Callie joyfully exclaimed as she lifted her cousin up by the ankles and, amid Marie's struggling protests, toppled her face-first into the bin. Marie winced and stretched out her hands, expecting to hit a tin floor if she was lucky or to get her upper body buried in trash if she wasn't, but found to her surprise the bin was not only devoid of both trash and a floor, but that there was not even any ground underneath it. Marie found herself sliding down a tube which gently curved until she was lying horizontally on her stomach. The tube's end opened up into what she couldn't believe was an underground laboratory. All around her were strange machines and equipment, beeping and flashing small lights. Some objects were covered in white sheets.

"Wheeeee!" Marie heard the unmistakable gleeful cry of her cousin growing louder from the tunnel and took it as a sign that she had better move away.

"How did you know that garbage bin was a secret entrance?!" Marie asked her cousin in amazement when she came to a halt.

Callie gasped and her eyes grew in astonishment. "It _was_?!" She looked around in disbelief. "Whoa, look at this place! I had no idea this was here!"

The two of them fell silent as they had suddenly become aware that there was an octoling man standing a few feet in front of them. They were soon joined by Bessie and then by Callum, who walked up to the man and greeted him. He turned to the girls. "Bessie, Callie, Marie… I'd like you all to meet my father."

Three inkling mouths silently fell open. Bessie spoke after a few seconds.

"You never told me you had contact with your dad!"

"Yes, I apologise. His existence is need-to-know. The Octarians think he's dead. My dad does important work behind the scenes. I come and visit him more often than you'd think. If he's decided to reveal himself he must have very important business with you."

"You may call me Doctor Akkoro. It is an absolute pleasure to finally meet you in person, Agent Three. And you, too, Callie and Marie. And may I just say I thoroughly admired your work retrieving the Great Zapfish. I apologise for the Great Octoweapons. Their upgrades since the Great Turf War that allowed them to draw power from zapfish were largely based on some of my work."

Dr Akkoro continued: "On to the matter at hand. Do you know where Splatfest themes come from?"

"Yeah!" Callie was first to answer. "We get word from On High through – ahh – the sacred device that makes pictures!"

"That is accurate, but not the full story," Akkoro explained. "The machine is called a fax machine. Millennia ago, there were millions upon billions of them throughout the world. They were used to send messages among people much like squidphones do today, but not entirely. One of them would read a document or picture and transmit it to another. What happened was that some of these signals bounced against a surface in space, billions of miles away, and the signal travelled back and finally reached the machine you two use to announce your Splatfests."

"That's impossible!" Marie said, not quite convinced. "The upcoming Splatfest will be Callie VS Marie! How could they have known about us so long ago?"

"That brings me to my next point:" the octoling continued. "Do you remember the bizarre news stories you two covered around the time of the last Splatfest announcement?"

"The sunken scrolls?" Bessie recalled "Archaeologists found three new sunken scrolls but as they were being restored they were quickly dismissed as fakes."

"But then soon after the last Splatfest announcement someone got into the institution where they were being kept and stole them!" Callum added.

"Indeed," confirmed Dr Akkoro as he opened a drawer behind him. "That someone… was me." He turned back around to face his young guests and produced three ancient looking pages. "I have carbon dated them and confirmed that they are in fact genuine. They date back from around the same era as Sunken Scroll 21!"

The four stared in disbelief. They could not read the language but it was obvious that these were posters promoting three live shows, all of the Squid Sisters.

"What does this mean?" Callie wondered.

"It doesn't mean anything." Marie wasn't convinced "We could not possibly have performed three live shows ages before the Mollusc era. There is a logical explanation for this."

"You've never seen these posters before, correct?" Dr Akkoro pointed at a corner of one "Look closer."

The poster unmistakably bore the autographs of both of the Squid Sisters. In fact, all three of them did.

"This is impossible…" Marie began.

"This is a sign that the two of you must travel back in time to the human era and perform these three live shows. I don't know why, but the fabric of the space-time continuum requires it."

"How are we going to do that?" Callie asked wide-eyed, transfixed by what she was hearing

"I must build a time machine to send you back. It will take me five years."

Marie stood up, relieved. "Well, that was a fascinating story. We'll talk again in five years when you've completed the time machine!"

"Oh, that won't be necessary," Callum's father interrupted. "My future self from five years from now brought me the time machine this morning! I just got back from dropping him off in his own time." He tugged at a sheet and it flopped to the ground, revealing a light metallic structure shaped roughly like a large, circular tent. "Behold, the time machine!"

The Inklings were dumbstruck. "My father is telling the truth," Callum defended. "I trust him with my life."

"If Callum trusts him, I trust him." Bessie supported

"This isn't something I'm asking you to do because I want you to," Akkoro held up one of the posters. "It's something you are _going_ to do, because all of this has already happened."

Both Squid Sisters were silent.

"I'm going to pay you a lot of money." Akkoro finally said plainly

"I've always wanted to travel to the past." Callie said cheerfully

"And I won't object to a whole extra era's worth of fans." Marie added. "We're in!"

"So, when will you be taking them?" Bessie asked the Octoling man.

"Oh, I'm not taking them. I've got to stay here and start building the time machine so that I can bring it back to myself five years from now." Akkoro gestured toward his son. "Here's your time pilot."

"Me?" Callum was confused "I don't know how to work a time machine!"

"You will if you use what will, for the next five years, be my greatest invention yet."

Callum's eyes widened. "You're… letting me use the Thinking Cap?!"

The so-called Thinking Cap was a very powerful computer that interacted directly with the user's brain. As the name implies it was operated while placed on the user's head. The most notable feature of the item was that it could be used to upload or download large amounts of information to or from the user's mind, essentially enabling them to gain large volumes of knowledge in an instant, such as learning how to expertly operate a machine you have never even laid eyes on. It could also connect to the internet (it had an exceptionally powerful safe search filter), and translate entire webpages before downloading them to the user's head. Its design resembled a very convincing inkling wig and it came with a pair of display goggles that looked like the markings around an inkling's eyes, the combined effect of which also made it useful for octolings who needed to roam the streets of Inkopolis unnoticed in broad daylight.

"Useful device, this cap," Akkoro praised his invention. "I used it this morning to copy the blueprints for the time machine from my future self. Now I can get started on building it! But I'll need it back to finish the time machine so take good care of it, okay? I've also added a few tips to make your journey a bit easier. You leave tomorrow and you'll be back in time to host the Splatfest. Oh, and before I forget…"

Dr Akkoro handed Callie and Marie a small Perspex box. "This is your stage equipment."

Callie squinted at the seemingly hollow cube. "I can't see anything."

"I call them nanomikes." Sure enough, there were what looked like two tiny black dots in the box. They connect to the thinking cap via Bluebeak. Just stick them over your beauty marks and they'll be invisible.

Callum donned the cap and his eyes rolled back in their sockets as a surge of knowledge coursed through his central nervous system. He now knew the time machine inside and out.

"Dad, why does the time machine have four seats?"

"You didn't think I'd let you go without Bessie, did you?" Callum Akkoro Sr. winked at his son.

As the sun came up, the Squid Sisters were saying their goodbyes to their grandfather at his cottage in Octo Valley. Bessie came to pick them up and also said a quick good-bye to Cap'n Cuttlefish.

"You kids look out for one another!" He was being a typical parent. "And don't get yerselves into trouble!"

"It'll be fine, Gramps!" Callie reassured.

"We just have to do three shows and we'll be right back." Marie comforted.

"Let's get going, you two! Callum's waiting!"

Callie pulled out the handle on her rolling suitcase and Marie hung her carry bag over her shoulder. The three of them arrived in Inkopolis where Callum had already begun powering up the time machine.

"Strap in, Ladies. We're history!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Time Tour**

Bessie the inkling felt like she had been turned inside out. She tried to stand up but was immediately thrown off balance. Her attempt at composing herself only made it worse and she fell on her side.

"What has this machine done to my brain?!" she demanded of her boyfriend.

Marie was still seated, with her upper body spread out over a table and making groaning noises. Callie was still on her seat, too, but stared blankly ahead as though nothing had happened.

"The time machine travels to the past by converting itself and everything inside it into antimatter shielded in an invisibility and intangibility field before entering stasis for the amount of time it is set to travel back." Callum explained. "Your bodies are still recovering from the shock of being converted back after 14'000 odd years as antimatter. I suggest that for the next half hour or so, everyone try to keep their movements as slow and symmetrical as possible."

"I actually think I'm fine." Callie sounded as cheery as ever, rising from her chair. "Normally my balance is quite-…" She immediately began to lean to her right before rocketing into a nearby wall.

Callum carefully reached under his seat and pulled out a box containing some travel snacks. He passed around a few packets of savoury biscuits. "Here. The salt will help you reach equilibrium again and the dryness should ease up any queasiness you might be feeling."

Marie managed to raise her head. "I don't ever want to go through this again."

"You won't," Callum assured. "Travelling forward is completely different. Plus, the effects are at their worst for first time travellers."

"When does the first show begin?" Bessie asked later as the yellow colour was returning to her tentacles

"Not for a good couple of years." Callum replied

"What are we doing so far back?" Callie asked, still nibbling on a biscuit.

"My dad left me a few pointers in the Thinking Cap. We can't exactly step out of a time machine and into a concert venue packed with people, can we?"

"But he said… _will_ have said… that it was all certain to… will… have happen…-ed." Marie struggled a bit with the relative tenses.

"It is, but we _make_ it happen first. The humans can't prepare a stage for you if they don't know you exist. We have to plant the seed in their minds. Everyone, wait here. I'll be right back."

It was close to midnight in the city where they had materialized, which was in the exact same spot geographically as Inkopolis would be millennia later but on this day was called Tokyo. Callum was still wearing the Thinking Cap and, as he used his octo form to sneak into a human's place of residence, he was uploading everything he knew about Inkopolis, the world of the mollusc era and the Squid Sisters onto the device's massive storage drive. As he crept toward the sleeping human, he removed the device from his own head and placed it on the sleeper's, sharing his knowledge. Some basic concepts were downloaded as is, while others were stored in slow-release pockets, programmed to be telepathically shared with anyone the human communicated these new ideas to, before manifesting as what would seem to be their own ideas for this apparently fictional world. Callum did not know the exact course of events that would lead his intentions to fruition, but he trusted in the causality, based on his knowledge from the future, that everything would eventually culminate as destined.

As it happened, this human worked for a video games company which had been working on the beginnings of a paint shooter game that, up until now, had been intended to feature white rabbits.

Back in the time machine, Callum opened the red cap which hid the dimensional axis swivelling drive and entered a temporal destination before engaging the drive. Four dimensional space twisted so that the directions of the flow of time and the vertical line exchanged places, and gravity pulled the time machine a few years into the future.

"We're here." Callum said at last. This is your first concert venue.

The four walked toward a large convention centre, buzzing with an air of hype and hedonism.

"So, how does the world know the Squid Sisters?" Bessie was anxious to know. "And how do they plan on getting them on stage if they don't know we're coming from the future?"

Callum connected the Thinking Cap to the internet and did some research. "It says here that in this time, Inkopolis exists in a video game world. The game is called Splatoon and is mainly a multiplayer game based on our Turf Wars and Ranked Battles, although there's a single player mode recounting the events of Bessie recapturing the Great Zapfish. Callie and Marie have pretty much the same role in the game as they have in our world. But the only songs of theirs the general public currently know about are Ink Me Up, Now Or Never, City of Colour and Calamari Inkantation, so it's best we stick to those."

"Aww! I wanted to do my solo!" Callie pouted before gesturing toward where the bustle was coming from. "So what's happening here?"

Callum connected the Thinking Cap to the electronics in the convention centre which housed their would-be stage. "They're playing that game right now!"

The octoling passed the goggles around so that everyone could have a chance to marvel at the recreation of their home and at the humans' battling skills.

"They've got projectors and screens that they plan to use to make it look like you're performing live on stage." Callum finally said after some more research.

"Well, it looks like they've got everything together, then." Marie sounded somewhat disappointed "Did we come to this time to put on shows, or to let projections of us put on shows _for_ us? What are we here to do?"

"Sneak inside and go wait backstage by the photo booth that's made up to look like the Inkopolis News studio and wait for my signal," Callum said as he began to assert his dominance over the inferior human computers that surrounded them. "And then do one of the things you do best: Override!"

"And what am I gonna do?" Bessie asked with an air of excitement.

"Go watch the show, what else?" Her boyfriend replied.

"With all those people in there? Someone will see me!"

"They'll think you're just a human in really good cosplay!"

The cousins were sitting patiently in the photo booth backstage. The next moment the distinct sound of the Squid Squad, a rock band from back home, boomed from the speakers.

"I'll bet that's Callum!" Marie said as they stood up and got into position. "Are you ready?"

Callie was brimming with confidence until a countdown began. The audience chanted the dwindling numbers as they came up and for a moment something inside Callie shook loose. The excitement was building up to a peak and Marie could hear Callie breathing heavily. After the countdown had run its course the familiar Inkopolis News jingle played and both of them calmed down and composed themselves again.

"Hold on to your tentacles…"

The travellers were seated at breakfast the morning after the second concert, all except Marie, who was sulking in squid form near the window.

"I said I was sorry!" Callie said half pleadingly, half exasperated. "Anyway, you didn't need to perform your solo, too!"

"No, I didn't. Not until you announced it and Captain Computerbrain over there started playing the intro! I wasn't prepared!" Marie turned her head. "What part of 'don't perform your solo's' didn't you understand? What if I'd made a mistake? What if I'd embarrassed us both?"

"Then nothing! I _always_ miss that first shimmy after the bridge in Now Or Never and no-one has _ever_ noticed! It wasn't that bad!"

"Wasn't that bad?" Marie calmly turned to Callum. "What was the damage, can you find out?"

Callum searched for the latest news about the Squid Sisters. "Ah – well, the general public knows about your solo numbers now. And it seems the video games company that owns us were inspired by your little stunt to announce something called Amiibo for you two. I detect a hint of panic. Someone probably got fired. … It says here Amiibo are little figurines that interact with the game in some way or another." He said, and added: "… and I think I want one."

There was silence for a while.

"Well, I think that was your best performance yet." Bessie finally said

"Just stick with the program from now on!"

Another jump to the future and a stowed-away flight later, the cephalopod company found themselves on a new continent a small ways outside the city, a day before their third and final performance. Bessie had taken Callum aside.

"I think the stress might be getting to the girls. I hate it when they fight!"

"You're right," Callum agreed. "They've had plenty of rest in between the concerts but it's always in hiding or cramped in this little time machine. I think a day of bonding and sightseeing would do them good."

"There's the matter of their appearance, though. They're not only famous here, but they're supposed to be fictional. It's okay to be seen at the concerts, but everyday life in the city isn't really any place for a human girl made up like an inkling."

Callum's eyes brightened with an idea: "Then how about an inkling girl made up like a human?"

"Let's do something with your hair." Bessie said, trying to sound unsuspicious.

"Why?" Marie asked.

"Because I said so. Now, sit your squid butts down over here." Bessie indicated to the two chairs in front of her.

"Yes, Ma'am." Callie went along with it and Marie followed.

Bessie loosened the bow on Callie's head and the tentacles relaxed, and withdrew themselves from their usual stretched state. She brushed Callie's fringe slightly to the side, as well. Marie's bow was loosened, too, and the tentacles were tied together in a ponytail which Bessie hung over the front of Marie's right shoulder.

"What do you think?" Bessie asked Callum, who suddenly showed up.

"Perfect!" He replied

"Perfect for what?" Callie wondered

"Perfect for two non-squid human girls out seeing the sights in Paris!" Callum produced two sets of clothing. There were two striped Breton shirts, one blue and one pink, two pairs of ladies jeans, a boater hat with a pink and black ribbon, a large pair of sunglasses and a pink ascot tie. "

"Did you… _steal_ those?!" Marie demanded. "You could get into trouble!"

"I don't think anyone is going to believe that merchant when she tells them a giant octopus jumped on her face. I doubt _she_ believes it. Now, put these on and go get some air. That's an order."

Callie and Marie practically felt instant relief when they took their first step outside the time machine. It was a beautiful warm day and the air was delicious.

"Marie, look! Marie, look! They have an Inkopolis Tower here, too!" Callie was beside herself with excitement.

"I think tha-…" Marie began

" **Inkopolis Tower!** " Callie squealed. "We should get a picture with it!"

"Callie, I told you, my squidphone is not for taking selfies."

"Please, Marie! Pleeeaase? My phone's memory is full!"

"Oh, alright." Marie just couldn't say no to her cousin when she wanted something that badly.

As Marie took the picture, she saw Callie's wild grin on the screen and was reminded just how easily her cousin could let go of a grudge. She felt bad for scolding Callie earlier and wanted to give her a sign that all was well again. Marie had the idea when the two tourists walked by the concert venue.

The last concert was well under way with their opening numbers done when the Squid Sisters were engaged in their usual between-song banter.

"So, Marie, remind me… What song were we going to do next again?"

"Uhhh… Oh yeah, that's right! Next up are our solo numbers!"

The audience couldn't see it, but Callie's eyes brightened up dramatically when her cousin made her aware of the change of heart she had had. For the rest of the concert, Marie felt like her heart was back in the performance in a way it hadn't been for a long time, and she could read the same sentiment from Callie.

The show was over and all the viewers had left the venue. All except Allan Kidman, who sat gloomily on the edge of the stage, staring at something he had bought that day at the expo that the show had been part of. Allan considered himself one of the biggest Squid Sisters fans of his time, tied only with his brother. He had been over the moon when he won the all-expenses-paid trip to France to come and watch the concert, and was convinced that once he had attended such a show, his life would be complete. And although this night had, hands down, been the one story he knew his children would one day tire of first, he felt a certain emptiness as though once he had seen the projections in real life, that little subconscious part of his brain that wouldn't grow up was confronted head-on with the reality that the Squid Sisters, Marie in particular, were fictional, and he just needed to deal with that.

"Well, Marie…" Allan said in his head as though he was telepathically communicating with the figurine he was turning over in his hands "I guess this is as real as you'll ever be…"

Bessie peered out from backstage and saw the troubled looking human. She beckoned Callie and Marie closer and directed their attention to him.

"That human looks sad." Callie whispered.

"At least he's got my Amiibo." Marie pointed out.

Allan was joined by his brother Edward, carrying a figurine of his own, and with something like a cardboard tube strapped to his back. He sat down next to his brother and the two sighed in chorus. Words were not necessary.

Bessie's eyes suddenly widened as she realised something: "Those humans!" she tried her best not to whisper too loud. "Take a good look at them!"

"They look kinda' the same." Callum noted. "Only one is wearing green and the other is wearing purple."

"A bit like me and Marie." Callie added.

"You believe they're somehow important to our visit here?" Marie asked.

"With all my heart." Bessie replied. "I feel like we should go talk to them or something…"

They cautiously crept up to them and Marie reached out a hand which she gently put on the shoulder of the man holding her miniature likeness. Allan turned his head and when he saw who was behind him he turned around, fell off his perch and landed on his feet in one autonomous reflex. He called out do his brother who turned around and stared in astonishment. There were three inklings and an octoling standing just three feet away from him and one of them was Callie!

Allan slowly walked toward these apparitions and reached toward the yellow inkling girl. They shook hands, if nothing else to convince Allan he wasn't seeing things. Next he inched toward Marie and carefully motioned toward hugging her. Marie slowly reciprocated the gesture and the two of them embraced. Upon seeing their interaction, Callie's arms darted toward Edward and she hugged him, too, with unexpected force. Edward babbled something that the visitors from the future couldn't understand. When finally Edward could let go he took the cardboard tube from his back and opened it. Trembling, Edward took out three posters and a pen, which he passed to his and Allan's idols. When the three posters bore two signatures each, Allan and Edward each hugged the entire company, and dashed off like two people whose lives had found new meaning.

The four snuck onto another aeroplane and departed for the city that would soon be their home once again.

"Is that it?" Bessie wondered. "Is that what we came all this way for? So Callie and Marie could sign those posters that set us on this trip in the first place?"

"Who can say?" Callum mused. "We know we've introduced an entire new culture to the world of Inkopolis, but exactly what effect this would all have on our world… we may never know."

When the Splatoon at last arrived in Tokyo on the spot where they arrived, Callum slung the folded-up time machine off his back and began to set it up again. Callie and Marie stood arm in arm as they took one last look at the world that would remember them until the ocean swallows it up.

"I'll try to be nicer to you from now on, Callie." Marie said to her cousin.

"Our last Splatfest is coming up." Callie said. "We really should make the most of these times while they last."

"All set!" Callum called. "Next stop, Mollusc Era!" Everyone strapped in as yellow sparks flew from the dimensional axis swivelling drive. **"Wait, that's not supposed to hap-…!"**


	3. Chapter 3

**We're History!**

The time machine made the temporal equivalent of a crash landing, the effect of which was tangible and forceful, but difficult for the travellers to grasp.

"What happened?" Callie asked rubbing her head, but not sure why.

"We seem to have had some sort of malfunction," Callum replied. "A bit like when your car breaks down on the road and you don't make it all the way home."

"How far _did_ we make it?" Marie asked, trying to stay calm.

Callum looked at a display in front of him and a hint of panic flickered in his eyes. "That doesn't matter. I'll just find out what's wrong and fix it, then we'll be on our way again.

Callum donned the Thinking Cap before nervously hurrying from the time machine and walked around to the back where he opened up a maintenance hatch. He waved away the grey smoke that billowed out with a hiss and squinted at the machine's innards as the smoke cleared.

Bessie was staring out of the window, noting that the area seemed notably more vegetated than the Inkopolis she was used to, when her boyfriend's head popped up in front of her, startling her.

"We've blown a resistor." The octoling said, his voice sounding somewhat quivery. "The good news is, I can put us together a quick fix with some iron ore and that should do to get us back to our own time. Wait here and I'll go find a piece."

"Maybe I can help…" Bessie began.

" **I said stay in the time machine."**

There was a short silence and Bessie looked at her boyfriend with genuine concern.

"What is it you're not telling me?"

"Don't worry about it." He smiled, which concerned the inkling girl even more.

Callum brought his face closer to the window so that he could address the Squid Sisters, too. "Everyone, wait here. I'll be right back."

Bessie watched Callum jog in between the trees until he reached a clearing with slightly less grass coverage about twenty feet away. She saw him stoop to pick something up, which he then waved at her reassuringly. Bessie had barely inhaled to call out, congratulating him on his find, when her world crumbled.

Callum fell down as though his legs had forsaken him, and lay motionlessly with his head behind a nearby bush. Bessie watched in horror as his lower body, too, disappeared like he was being dragged away. **"CALLUM!"** She roared as she barged out of the time machine followed closely by Callie and Marie, and sprinted for the spot where he had been, but by the time she reached it, he was gone without a trace.

Actually, there was _one_ trace.

"What's this?" Bessie picked up an object that looked on one side like a needle and on the other side like a feather as the Squid Sisters caught up with her.

"That looks pointy…!" Callie reached out

"Don't touch that…!" Marie cautioned too late and Callie sank to the ground, with her eyes shut and her expression vacant.

Bessie fell to her hands and knees, her breath ragged. She stayed like that until Marie walked up to her and helped her to her feet. She had checked Callie's vitals and found that she had just been tranquilised. "It's not safe out here. Help me get Sleeping Beauty back to the time machine."

Back inside, the gravity of the situation was sinking in, and staying calm was proving more difficult by the minute.

"We don't know what _era_ this is…!"

"We don't know what's _out_ there…!"

"Why didn't he just tell me?"

"Why didn't we bring weapons?"

Bessie looked at the dart that had knocked out two of the people she cared about most in the world. It was her only clue and it told her nothing. Not where it had come from, not who made it, not where they had gone. Someone had taken her beloved prisoner and not only did she have no idea where to even _begin_ looking, she would have no way to defend him or herself were she to try and save him.

"Unbelievable." Marie was still complaining "We go back fourteen thousand years because Octodad says it's destiny, and we have to sign three random posters to fix space-time or whatever, and as soon as we get everything done that needs doing, we get doomed to oblivion!"

Suddenly a spark shot between two of Bessie's nerves.

"We find him." Bessie said softly

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Marie asked

"I'm not planning anything…" her heart grew. "It's all destined to happen!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't you see?" Bessie was piling up hope by the second. "We have the time machine!"

"And no pilot!" Marie wasn't following.

"That's just the thing!" Bessie was nearly shouting now. "If Callum and the Thinking Cap never make it home, Dr Akkoro can't finish building the time machine to give to his past self to send us back with in the first place! We're _in_ the time machine right now, which means we find Callum and make it back home! We're already destined to succeed!"

Bessie walked out of the machine. "Marie, stay with Callie. I'm going to find him."

"How do you know where to look?!" Marie called after her.

"I don't!" Bessie called back. "But I _know_ I'll find him!"

Soon after setting out, Bessie heard a rustle. She crept closer and peered through a gap in some dense leaves, and at last saw something she recognised. There was a lone, young inkling man. He appeared to be waiting for someone and sure enough, to Bessie's surprise, he was joined by an octoling man. Bessie started piecing together clues of what time she had ended up in, not knowing she would have her answer the moment the inkling man spoke.

"Thanks for coming out to see me old friend. This war has been going on for over a year now. I really don't want it to affect…"

Bessie had suddenly realised the octoling held a knife behind his back and was tightening his grip, getting ready to strike. Without thinking she picked up a rock and flung it at the octoling. It connected with his hand just as he was bringing the blade toward his friend, and disarmed him.

The octoling shot a shocked look at Bessie, followed by a look of regret at the man. He then stormed off, but not before giving one more glance at Bessie and mumbling something that sounded like "Impudent inksquirt..!"

The inkling stared after his friend in shock, and eventually turned to his rescuer. "My friend sometimes lets bad politics get to his head and often this makes him do something rash. You've saved him from doing just that but more importantly, you've saved my life. I owe you one. What's your name?"

Bessie thought it a good idea not to give her real name but wasn't entirely sure why she thought that. It had just always seemed to have been the norm in time travel movies. Instead, she said the first name that popped into her head: "My name's… err… Callie-Marie." The first name that popped into her head was more often than not two names.

"What are you doing out on your own in the middle of the war?" The man asked.

"One of my allies got captured." She replied.

"Then how about we go get him back?" There was an adventurous glint in the inkling man's eye. "I know where the nearest Octarian prison camp is and one of my friends can loan you a weapon!"

Bessie was silent for a moment as she pieced together a few facts that seemed at first not to fit very well together, but she eventually made them fit. "I'm in!" She said at last. Just give me a few moments.

"Marie! Marie!" Bessie made a stop by the time machine to update Marie on the recent developments, and to check on Callie. Callie was phasing in and out of consciousness, occasionally mumbling deliriously, which was at least a step up from total lifelessness.

"I know what time this is! I know what happened to Callum! The Octarians took him! We're slap-bang in the middle of the Great Turf War!"

"Are you sure it was the Octarians, though?" Marie asked. "Why would they capture one of their own?"

"Because he was wearing the Thinking Cap! It made him look like an inkling!"

Callum awoke in an Octarian prison. The tranquiliser hadn't knocked him out for as long as his attackers had anticipated, as it had octo ink as a base which made it less effective on octolings. However, since the Octarians believed he was still unconscious, Callum decided to remain motionless and see if he could gather any information from his captors.

"Come and meet the group!" Bessie's new friend called as they reached the location where his splatoon had set up camp. He began to introduce them and Bessie's jaw dropped when she realised who she was dealing with.

"The younger inkling's name is Sepius. Together he and I form the firepower for this group. The little fuzzy one is called Judd. He has been in more turf wars than all of us combined and possesses an uncanny ability for sensing ink. Judd is invaluable for planning advances as he makes it impossible for anyone to Ambush us. The horseshoe crab is Ammoni Shellendorf (Ammoses for players of the North American version), weapons expert. He sees to it that all of our weapons are in tip-top shape."

Bessie was mesmerized. "You guys… you're the Squidbeak Splatoon…" She turned to the inkling man whose life she had saved earlier. "That would make you…"

"Cap'n Cuttlefish. In the flesh and at your service!" The Squid Sisters' young grandfather took a bow. "Everyone, listen up. Now that we're all together, I'd like to introduce Callie-Marie. This girl showed great bravery earlier and as a reward, I would like to make her an honorary member of the Squidbeak Splatoon! But Splatoons have only ever had four members since ancient times, so let's call you Agent Five!"

Bessie's knees were inches away from buckling under her. She glanced down at a younger, much skinnier looking Judd, who was looking away as though pretending not to listen.

"… and we have our next mission!" Cap'n Cuttlefish continued. "We're storming the Octarian prison camp to rescue Callie-Marie's ally!" He turned to Bessie. "You can find a few spare sets of combat gear in the tent nearby. I'm sure you'll get one in your size."

Bessie emerged from the tent looking like someone who had been born and raised in the era. As she wondered if her turf war skills would be of any use in an actual old-day war, another inkling emerged from the bushes with an old camera hanging around his neck. "Excuse me," he said. "My splatoon has set up camp not too far from yours. I heard from a friend that you guys were here, so I wondered if I could come and take your picture for my son. He's a big fan of the Squidbeak Splatoon."

"Go right ahead!" Cap'n Cuttlefish obliged with his arms folded, leaning on the weapon of choice for his troop, the bamboozler. "Simply snap us where we sit!"

Bessie tried to get up and move out of the camera's view, but Sepius stopped her. "You're one of us. You should be in this picture, too."

When the grateful camera-wielder had left, Bessie felt a tug at her sleeve. She turned around and saw Shellendorf handing her a Bamboozler. "If we're going into battle, you're going to need a weapon!"

"Thanks," Bessie said politely but sheepishly. "I'm not exactly an ace with chargers, though."

Ammoni frowned for a second, before his eyes brightened up and his mouth stretched into a manic grin. "Then how would you like to try out one of my top secret anti-octopus weapon prototypes?"

Bessie felt like she was about to have an honour overload. As if meeting Cap'n Cuttlefish in his glory days wasn't enough, she got to save his life, see the Squidbeak Splatoon in person, and even _join_ them for a day, and now Sheldon's Grandpappy was offering her a chance to use one of his legendary weapons.

The armoury was at Ammoni's house, a short walk away (and not far from where the time machine was standing). The horseshoe crab opened a large wooden chest, and inside Bessie saw a few familiar shapes lying in hollows cut out of a thick layer of foam. She spoke without thinking. "Oh, I know these! I've used some of them!"

Ammoni frowned again. "Impossible. These weapons are top secret and the only ones of their kind. I know, because I drew up the blueprints and built them myself."

It dawned on Bessie as she picked up the Dynamo Roller, feeling the subtle differences in weight distribution and the feel of gripping the handle that these were not the same weapons Sheldon kept at Ammo Knights. Sheldon could never quite recreate his grandfather's inventions perfectly from the blueprints, and often made custom designed editions of existing weapons, swapping out the sets with other subs and specials. This, on the other hand, was the real thing.

Soon the team of five were treading a small footpath through the bushes, with Judd in the lead, followed closely by Cap'n Cuttlefish, Bessie and Sepius. Ammoni brought up the rear carrying his bulky knapsack filled with tools and spare parts.

Judd suddenly stopped walking and froze in place. He was completely motionless, except for his twitching whiskers.

"What ya' got there, Bucko?" Cap'n Cuttlefish whispered as he leaned closer.

"Ink," Judd began with the obvious. "Octarian ink. And a lot of it. It's close, but not headed for us. I've never picked up such a large amount in one place."

"Like… a large army of Octolings?" Sepius ventured.

"More like an ink tank the size of a century old zapfish." Judd's words sent chills through his comrades.

"If it's not going to bother us right now, let's press on with the task at hand." Agent Five suggested. "We'll worry about it later."

"Let me out!" Callum demanded from the simple cage where he was being held.

"Silence, Inkling!" the Octarian keeping watch over the lone prisoner barked back at him. "You'll stay there until we have a use for you!"

"I'm not an Inkling!" Callum removed the Thinking Cap, baring his distinctly Octoling tentacles. "I was on an undercover mission by order of Captain Kaharoa!" Callum had heard the name while acting unconscious, and knew that this particular high-ranking official had left the camp earlier.

The guard's demeanour changed instantly, and he fumbled with the keys to let Callum out. "I am so sorry, Sir!"

"That's quite alright." Callum decided it best not to cause a stir. "We'll forget any of this ever happened." He patted the guard on the cheek with slight force, causing him to wince, turned his back and walked out.

The prison camp was quite large and densely guarded, which seemed strange to the members of the Squidbeak Splatoon considering no Inklings were known to have been captured except for Agent Five's Ally (whom they were unaware was actually an Octoling). Thanks to Judd's guidance, they were able to reach a side of the camp that had only two guards patrolling back and forth. All the fences were fortified with enemy ink to make passing through them in squid (or octo) form impossible, but they could still be climbed over, provided one could remain unseen for long enough.

And that was exactly Cap'n Cuttlefish's plan. He disconnected the laser sighting from his Bamboozler, "So they don't see me aiming at them." He explained when Bessie asked. When the two guards' patrols intercepted an imaginary line originating from Cap'n Cuttlefish, he let fly a sharp stream of colour and they burst into two puddles of ink, each with a little octo-wisp floating away.

"We have a second or five to get in before they can use their bodies again and one of 'em sounds the alarm!" Cap'n Cuttlefish alerted. "Best make it count!"

Judd was over the fence first thanks to his feline agility, and he quickly plotted the path that would get them the furthest into the camp before they'd get swarmed by octotroopers, octobombers, and more minions of the Octarian forces tasked with keeping the likes of Cuttlefish and his Splatoon out of the camp.

When the sirens began to blare, the group was already at the hub of the camp, which meant that enemies were charging at them from all directions. The inklings stood in a circle facing outward, with Judd and Ammoni in the middle, and defended their supports from the onslaught.

Bessie swung her roller with all the force she would usually use when handling a Dynamo Roller back home, which she found was more than what was necessary when wielding the work of master craftsmanship loaned to her by the founder of Ammo Knights. She flung a massive surge of ink in an arc in front of her, obliterating everything Octarian for several feet. When she ran with the roller she found that the dynamo contained within powered a small pump that would oversaturate the head, the effect of which was that running with the roller also sprinkled ink forward, keeping enemies at a distance and neutralising some of their attacks.

Cap'n Cuttlefish and Sepius were picking off enemies quite rapidly for two charger users. When the leader saw an opening, he inked a path in between the oncoming hoards and called out to Ammoni before disconnecting his ink tank. He swapped it for an empty one and swam through the new trail he had just made filling his new tank up. Meanwhile, the horseshoe crab connected the full tank, which he had just received from Cuttlefish, to a Bamboozler of his own and added his strength to the battle.

When the oncoming forces began to thin out, a voice came from Cap'n Cuttlefish's radio:

"This is Inkling Stronghold calling Squidbeak Splatoon! Cap'n Cuttlefish, do you copy?!" The voice was barely intelligible amid radio static and the sound of explosions.

Cap'n Cuttlefish worked his radio while he continued to fire his Bamboozler using one hand, without looking. "This is Cuttlefish, standing by!"

"We need you at the stronghold ASAP!" The explosions grew louder. "It's…" The signal cut out.

"Get to the stronghold!" Bessie insisted. "I'll go get my friend!" Bessie was actually relieved to part ways with Cap'n Cuttlefish at this point, since she could not imagine what would have transpired had the young war hero and his splatoon learned that her ally was an octoling.

"Here!" Cap'n Cuttlefish handed over his Bamboozler. "So your friend has something to shoot his way out with. Ammoni can give me another one on the way over."

"What are you doing, Soldier?!" A superior officer had discovered Callum sneaking around. "Didn't you hear the siren?! We're under attack!"

Callum flinched in disgust at the octoshot the officer tried to shove into his hand.

"Do we have a problem, Maggot?!" The superior was inching away from pulling rank and toward losing his patience.

"Sorry, Sir!" Callum tried to keep his composure as he raised the Thinking Cap. "I have been sent on an important undercover mission at the Inkling camps!"

" **I don't give two inkstains about your undercover mission!"** The superior thundered. "When the sirens go off, **everyone takes up arms!"**

Callum felt himself shaking on the inside. "I'm under order… from Captain Kaharoa…"

The burly octoling seemed to calm down. "I see. Where is the Captain now?"

"I believe he's gone out, Sir." Callum felt relief wash over him.

"No, he hasn't." the superior said softly as he picked Callum up by his shirt's collar. "He's standing right in front of you."

" **Callum!"** Bessie called out instinctively just as she entered the room. Callum and Kaharoa both turned their heads and with a single glance Bessie communicated a plan of action.

While Kaharoa was distracted, Callum entered Octo form and freed himself, coiling his arms around Kaharoa's feet. At the same time Bessie shook her roller, spraying ink at the towering octoling's face. It did little more than sting his eyes and send him reeling back, but this was enough to make him trip since Callum was holding his feet.

Callum took Bessie's hand and she helped him over the patch of floor she had just inked, before painting a bigger divide between themselves and Kaharoa.

" **He's in league with the enemy!"** The captain screamed as he rose to his feet. He trudged through the squid ink separating him from the two invaders like it was mud, holding his octoshot at the ready to fire at them as soon as he got close enough. Bessie threw Cap'n Cuttlefish's Bamboozler at Callum and the two of them let Kaharoa have it as they inched backwards away from his advance. It took three hits from them both but eventually they brought him down.

The two embraced and kissed before Callum began: "Bessie, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I thought I'd get us out of…"

"There's no time for that," Bessie said gently. "Everything is as it should be. Now, put on the cap, and if anyone asks, my name is Callie-Marie. We need to get to the Inkling Stronghold! Something big is happening there!"

"I know!" Said Callum. "It's the Great Octoweapons! I heard some of the guards talking while they thought I was still unconscious! But we can sabotage them from this side! This isn't just a prison camp: They keep the generator for the Octoweapons here!"

The reunited loved ones raced down the corridors, splatting the occasional Octarian minion, until they reached a corridor from which they heard a humming sound. "This must be it!" Callum ventured.

Bessie saw a cable coming from the passageway. "Can you believe this runs all the way to the Great Octoweapons attacking the Inkling Stronghold? Help me cut it!"

"It's no use," Callum replied. "It's unbreakable. But it's plugged into the reactor like any normal wall socket so if, I don't know, someone were to carelessly pull it, the Octoweapons would be rendered powerless. By the time the Octarians realise what's going on, it will be too late."

"Come back here with that!" Ammoni Shellendorf's wife was chasing after an octotrooper that had broken into her husband's workshop, but she could not catch up to its cruiser, and it made off with a small pouch containing some of his blueprints and a portable generator.

When Callum and Bessie got to the stronghold, all the Octarians had retreated, and the Great Octoweapons were scattered lifelessly across the ground. "Over here!" Bessie recognised Sepius' voice. Cap'n Cuttlefish's foot was pinned under the Octostomp, and the others were trying to dig him out.

But before she and Callum could lend a hand, the loud, menacing voice of Kaharoa snatched away the feeling of victory. "I'll take this stronghold by myself if I have to! But not before I have terminated the great captain of the Squidbeak Splatoon!"

He stood atop the Octowhirl, a large, spherical mass of ink contained in two resilient shells, and held a miniature generator one of his minions had stolen from Ammoni's house. Kaharoa manned the Octoweapon and the generator brought it back to life.

"I know how to take care of this!" Bessie stepped forward. "We just ink the ground in front of it and it will be vulnerable!"

"That won't work." Cap'n Cuttlefish was still trapped. "The ground here is too porous. It soaks our ink right up. Our only option is to make a break for the creek nearby, but he's after me and I'm not going anywhere."

"I'll help get you out." Callum dove into the Octarian ink (staying in humanoid form so as not to give himself away) and pushed at the Octostomp with all his might. At the same time, the Squidbeak Splatoon, in oblivious awe of Callum's apparent feat of endurance, pulled their captain in the opposite direction and at last he was free.

"Go!" Cuttlefish commanded and they all sprinted for the nearest body of water. But when Bessie looked back, she saw he was struggling to run with his bruised ankle. The Octowhirl was rolling straight at him. She ran back and tucked herself under his shoulder, barely getting him out of the way. They were immediately joined by Callum, who handed back his Bamboozler.

"Thanks, Kiddo!" Cap'n Cuttlefish leant on his weapon like a cane, and the three of them darted for the water.

There was an deafening splash and the Octowhirl resurfaced, but all of its ink had drained into the water, and as Captain Kaharoa emerged all he saw was five streams of ink coming straight at his face.

Callum had gone ahead to fit his quick-fix to the time machine. Callie was back on her feet, and she and Marie were overjoyed to see he'd made it back. They shared their respective sides of the events that had transpired after Callum had been taken. As they could at least be certain there were no Octarians about, the Squid Sisters were out getting some fresh air before the last of their trip home.

"So Callie's made a full recovery?" The Octoling asked Marie.

"Just about," she replied, "She still gets a few words mixed up, but it's not as bad as just after she came to."

"I'll be right as hamburger by the time we get around to hosting this last Splatfest!" Callie said with a smirk and one eye closed "So, are you ready to sing City of Colour and Ink Me Up until we're both blue in the face?"

"Yeah," Marie gave a naughty grin. "But wouldn't it be a shame if someone didn't stick to the program and started singing Calamari Inkantation halfway through?"

"The time machine should be all fixed up now." Callum said as he closed the maintenance hatch and dusted off his hands. The inkling cousins-who-may-as-well-be-sisters joined hands and walked back in.

Callie frowned and looked up at the overhead tree branches.

"What is it, Callie?" asked Marie

"Nothing," Callie answered. "I just… thought I heard purring."

Back at the camp, Bessie had asked Cap'n Cuttlefish aside. "I can't thank you enough for all you did. Believe me when I say you have no idea what a great service you have done us."

"Think nothing of it," Cuttlefish replied. "Yer one of us!"

There was silence for a moment.

"Callum and I aren't from around here. We have to leave."

"Can't risk people finding out you have and octoling boyfriend," Cap'n Cuttlefish comforted. "I understand."

Bessie was stunned. "How did you…"

"This codger's more observant than he looks!" Cuttlefish gave a wink. "Y'think yer the only inkling ever to befriend an Octarian? Anyway, I hope we meet again someday. And whatever happens, you'll always be a member of the Squidbeak Splatoon."

Bessie's eyes were welling up. She hugged Cap'n Cuttlefish and turned to go.

"… By the by," the young war hero added one last thing. "You've saved my life twice now, so I guess I owe ya' two. I wish I could name my kids after you but the missus already got her heart set on a whole bunch o' names. Tell ya' what, though. I'll make sure my kids name _their_ kids after ya'."

Callie and Marie were getting ready for their final Splatfest. Their journey to another time seemed in hindsight to have been one of the most fun and rewarding things they had ever done.

"So what are we gonna do now that Splatfests are over?" Wondered Callie "Just hosting the news could get really dull."

"Maybe we can have occasional shows in the plaza," Marie mused. "Just for fun."

Callie's eyes twinkled "Do you think Callum's dad would let us use the time machine again? Maybe we can take Gramps along next time! He can watch from backstage!"

Marie chuckled and gave her cousin a tight hug.

Callum embraced Bessie outside the entrance to Inkopolis from Octo Valley, before going off to visit his father. When Cap'n Cuttlefish heard a knock on his door, he opened it up to find a tearful Bessie grinning from ear to ear.

"I hope you have plenty of biscuits, because we have a _lot_ to talk about!"

The End


End file.
